He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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