wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
