The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
