im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I want to fling myself into the sun
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
