We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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