So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
