Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
