Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
