Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
