I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
