I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
