awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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