Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
