Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
