im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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