If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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