We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
be right there i have to get my cape
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
