you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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