I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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