Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He shit in the fireplace
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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