and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
