We're facebook friends in real life
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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