Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
