she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
