Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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