i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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