I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
