im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
