I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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