Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
