what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We had to coat check the pizza.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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