idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
