Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
