How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
