so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
