Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Randomize