Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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