Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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