I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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