You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
