well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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