you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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