OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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