Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize