I accidentally had phone sex last night
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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