Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
