is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Randomize
