No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
