If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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