I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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