it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
