We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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