whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
