I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
