TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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