Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
