Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
That accounts for only three of the penises
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
