Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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