I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
