So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
