Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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