glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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