I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
