You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
