so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
