1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize