meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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