And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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